Dan. 19. Happily Taken. Vocals & Guitar. Let Yourself Go.
imagine reading a book of all the lies you’ve told
IDK what kind of lives you all are leading, but this sounds like the boringest shit. “Yes I sent that email.” “Yeah, I like your outfit.” “I was sick.” “My mom said no” “No I wasn’t crying.” “Yes I read the Terms of Service”
what about a book of all the lies people have told you
Oh how the tables have tabled
Tables have tabled
Adult things arent NEARLY as complex as I thought they were growing up I just walked into bank of america and said im here to open a checking account and they said ok and opened me a checking account
I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. when I actually drew him, there was just a little squirt of blood and it surprised him
I looked him in they eye and told him “you’re bleeding because you don’t floss”
and he went dead silent
Of all the revenge fantasies I’ve ever had about dentists, this is strangely the most satisfying
Being a nice person is so fun
Waiter messes something up? You can see the relief on their faces when you don’t scream and swear at them about it
Extra tickets at an arcade/prize place? Watch a little kid’s face light up when you give them a bunch of tickets
There are too many assholes in this world. Be a nice person.
tonight i burned through an entire pack of cigarettes hoping to scorch your name from my lips but all i got was a burnt throat and a second addiction